Overcoming the Fears in My Life

Greetings to all my spiritual brothers and sisters,

I would simply love to share about what God has been doing in my life recently. During my past studying years, I’ve always had high expectations in whatever I did, especially excelling in my exams and projects. Ever since I adopted such an ambitious nature, my whole life has been full of insecurities, stress and fearfulness. I’ve always wanted to outshine others in everything and I could not accept any form of failures. When I could not achieve what I expected, I would blame myself for being so dumb and useless. Sometimes it got so intense that I ended up in tears. When I started studying again for a part-time degree, I still could not overcome my fears and weariness until God led me to the right path.

It all started after the G12 conference. Despite having an exam on Monday, 20th March, I was encouraged to take a step of faith to attend the three-day Conference including Sunday service. Thus, I did not have enough time to focus on my revision at all. I was worried sick and started desperately praying to God for wisdom and confidence. After the paper, I was confident that I would pass and I thanked God for it.

On the week of Good Friday, the results were released and most of my classmates got either a grade D or C and so I also expected to pass too. When I logged in to check, the system actually stated an “F” grade for my results. I was pretty shocked at first and thought that it must either be a joke or a system error. Thus I tried to log in and out a few times again but it still reflected the same grade. This time, I was really at lost and devastated. Disappointed and depressed, I really felt like tearing myself apart. As anger crept into me, I felt cheated by God at that point of time. I asked God, “Why did you allow this to happen to me? What did I do to deserve such results? I struggled throughout between my thoughts and God for some period of time during the week. Ivy was quite worried about me when I did not reply to her messages despite her concern.

At the same time, I was also working on the Easter card designs for our Good Friday Harvest and I simply lost my mood to continue. Eventually, I still managed to finish the two card designs for Ivy but without the excitement for God. I kept trying to reject the negative thoughts and to focus on praying about it until God spoke to me in an email. This is the email, which God has spoken to me about:

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Does God Care When You Suffer? - The Problem of Suffering

On my shelf is a little book that asks a big question. It is titled: Does God Care When We Suffer? And it was written by Randy Becton who is a good friend and a cancer survivor who has spent much of his life ministering to people with terminal illnesses. Randy writes:

Of the hard "why" questions, "why is there suffering?" may be the hardest. This is probably because it not attacks us personally, but also because whenever the question is raised, the question of God's part in suffering follows close behind. We are desperate for the meaning behind all of this. We are always seeking someone to blame or deliver us, and that always leads to our view of God.

Does God care when we suffer? Of course he does.

Then why doesn't He do something about it? He did. Becton sums it up this way:

The answer is the cross of Jesus Christ. From now on, all human suffering must be understood in the light of His suffering; it is the source of meaning, hope, and new life for sufferers. When someone cries out, "He doesn't care. He's immune to pain," they are brought to the foot of the cross to see for themselves. The cross and resurrection hold the key to the mystery of suffering.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

While reading this email message, I felt the presence of God communicating with me. God spoke to me about His plans for me and He actually wanted me to conquer my fears. It was really a tough experience that I had managed to overcome but with God’s strength, it was made easier. Deep in my heart, I know that I’m still not completely healed and God wants me to purify myself completely. Never before had I felt so much peace, assurance and comfort. With God watching over me, I know that I'm never alone and with courage, I decided to retake my exam again. Thank God that at least I had the opportunity to retake the exam and not repeat the whole module again. Thank God for my spiritual mother, Ivy, who has always been there for me, providing me with so much love, care, motivation and encouragement. Praise be to God!

I would like to encourage everyone out there that don’t be afraid when you have failures. It is a learning process that makes us grow stronger as God has His ultimate plans for us. Remember that nothing is impossible with God for He loves all of us and will not forsake us in times of need. I believe that God is always constantly building us up to be great and mighty men and women of God in His Kingdom. Most importantly, always set our priorities right in whatever we do! With this, I would love to encourage you all with a Bible verse familiar to me:

“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will give us later.” - Romans 8:18

Written by: Sabrina Ang
Ivy’s 12

15th April Livingstones Good Friday Harvest Event

One week ago on the 15th of April, Livingstones organized a Harvest event held at MagicBox as part of our Good Friday celebration. We were asked to invite and bring our non-believing friends to join in the celebration.

There was plenty of food catered that night. Amidst the mouth-watering food available, we could not get the food for ourselves but we had to serve others first, especially those who have not had their dinner yet. This small but significant gesture is one of the many ways we can show our love to our friends.

That night, MagicBox resembled a mini-funfair. It was decorated with an assortment of banners each carrying a specific message. Not to mention the game corners set up whereby participants got to try their hands on darts and play a peculiar game of blowing feathers over a certain distance with our breath. The purpose of the games was to educate us that just as it was difficult to score a bull’s eye on the dartboard and blow the feathers over the required line in order to get a prize, it is the same with God’s standard for all of us: no matter who we are, all of us still fall short of the glory of God.

Ezra and his well-tuned band led the worship session. Apart from a few familiar songs, the band even played Ezra’s self-penned title “Life to the Cross” whose tunes were melodious and energetic. All the while, the crowd danced and clapped through the session. After that, there was a movie shown on one young man’s journey to Christ through his encounter with his best friend who introduced him to a friend of his, who is none other than Jesus Christ Himself.

While watching the show, I told Jesus,” Lord, thank you for Your sacrifice. How I wish that I could share the pain with You.” And He replied, “No son! It is too unbearable for you. Now that you have been cleansed, you have no more sins.” I was so touched by this.

Those who believe in Him will have eternal life. Until now, the movie’s message: “Don’t forget my friend’s love”, still resonates within me. After watching it, I know that all of us were guilty of sin in our lives but God will always give us a new beginning. He is a God of second chances.

“No longer will a man teach his neighbor, or a man his brother, saying, 'Know the Lord,' because they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest," declares the Lord. "For I will forgive their wickedness and will remember their sins no more." - Jeremiah 31:34

As the bible clearly states, those who believe in Him will be saved. Indeed, God will be happy to give a new beginning to our non-believing friends and loved ones.

Written by:
Flavian Kow
Julian’s 12

Dare to Dream for Him, Dare to Dream for Our Community

Pastor Joe Keenan’s sermon on daring to dream for God made me reflect on my past attitude towards dreams. I used to be one of those realists who saw dreams as a cosmetic superficiality. Are dreams just a lofty pigment of our imagination? Are they just one of those passing faces in a crowd that we forget the moment we turn our heads back?

You see, dreams also do define us. The world we live in places an insatiable premium on materialism. We are scrutinized, assessed and judged by our appearance, intelligence, education level, bank accounts, occupation and so on in an endless list of man-defined indicators. Ambitions, like dreams, are a distant expression of what we wish to achieve in the measurable future but unlike ambitions, dreams have its roots in biblical foundation. God wants us to dream and dream big for Him. God appeared to Jacob (Genesis 28:12-15) and Joseph (Genesis 37: 5-7) through dreams where they received the revelation from Him. Unlike dreams, we can never be satisfied with our ambitions. The businessman who has ambitions of becoming the richest man on earth will never be satisfied with his wealth. With each passing day, his chase for the money trail will intensify and his ambitions will expand with his ego.

Ambitions will only encourage us to seek more and more for ourselves. We will be oppressed by our ever-lasting greed and desire to be better than before. Sometimes, we are stifled by it. Sometimes, we even dread it. Sadly, through the process of conforming to society’s pressure and demands, we have mistaken our ambitions for our dreams. Ambitions only fuel temporal materialism, which further inflames our ambitions in a downward spiral of a bottomless pit. According to Ecclesiastes 5:10, “Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless.” Ambitions should not define us by dictating the way we choose to live.

Dreams however, will set us free. Through dreams, we build a greater tomorrow, as strong as we know how and we stand on the top of the mountain, free within ourselves. God truly calls his people to dream of the extraordinary and His dreams for us are ways above the comfortable limits of our imagination. The high-powered executive who quits his glamorous position and forgoes a cushy monthly pay to fulfill his dream of starting a school for the intellectually challenged. The Irish rock star who works feverishly to attract international support for the cause against poverty. The opposition leader who languishes in house arrest and displays admirable defiance towards the ruling junta in her country for the sake of her people’s fundamental rights. These are normal people with extraordinary dreams who chose to work for their dreams, responding to a greater calling in life and living a life worth living.

Fortunately, dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities within us and new beauty waiting to be born. Dreams do define us in a way unimaginable by sheer logic. Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake, living our dreams.

Pastor Joe Keenan’s message on dreams rekindled my desire to become an economist to help the poor in impoverished nations. I have always dreamt since my days as a junior college student of formulating working policies to bring the benefits of modern life to the less privileged. After all, what’s the point of our education, skills and talents if we do not fully utilize them to benefit our society? It may seem an idealistic impossibility right now but I do believe that if God wants us to dream, he surely has His plans for us. Just one day after Pastor Joe’s sermon, I befriended someone who shared the same dream as me. With every person I get to befriend who shares the same goals as me, my dreams seem less remote and less impossible. Now, I know that I’m not alone in pulling down the walls and defeating the giants in my life.

And henceforth, my brothers and sisters, I pray that all of your dreams may come true. We may sometimes fail in the process of reaching for the unreachable but at least we know that if there is only one chance in this life that we may understand who we really are, we have taken it boldly and courageously with no regrets.

Let us now work towards fulfilling the destiny that God has given to each of us. If the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams, then the future is indeed ours to conquer.

Written by:
Kenny Tan
Joshua’s 12

Re-Dedicating My Life to God

Mere words cannot describe the relationship I have with God and his awesome love for us.

My siblings, two brothers and two sisters, are now children of God, Hallelujah! But we once faced persecution by our non-believing parents. My Mum is a strong Buddhist and she has forcibly disapproved of us becoming Christians. She would do things like telling us to get out of the house or take a chopper to scare us or not acknowledging us as her children. But Praise God for her heart to soften for she approved not just of our religion but our relationship with GOD. We were able to become better children for her and for the Lord.

But during a period of time, I was not truly devoted to God. I did not attend church services or read God’s Word. My Bible was left beside my bed for so long until a thick layer of dust covered it. I went astray, started mixing with the wrong company and my life degenerated into sinful ways. To make matters worse, I tried to replace Jesus with girls who I tend to “love”. I wasn’t close to my family due to the age gap between me and my siblings and that they are always absent from home due to their work commitments. There were also a lot of family problems, which further alienated me from them. I was like a lost sheep without God’s guidance, going astray even further, feeling empty inside and life too meaningless to live on. I have always believed that in this world, we must all be loved by someone, otherwise it will be like living alone in a cold, dark and empty room. Thus I always committed myself into meaningless boy-girl relationships but so did my pain and sin which worsened.

I remembered that one of the relationships brought me so much sorrow and trouble that there were times I would engage in self-mutilation. I felt that it was something that could help me overcome the loneliness, emptiness and pain in my heart but I was wrong. I got into more trouble. I had to go for counseling, my friends thought I was crazy and subsequently, the girl I liked left me. I felt all alone. I felt that I was unable to express feelings that I kept in my heart. But still I did not seek God. I remembered the times I will just cry asking him why my life is going on in this fashion. However, He did not answer me. At that point, I did not bother if I would go to heaven or to hell. Neither did I care for Jesus nor anything about my life. I reckoned that why should I when I feel that no one cared about me?

During my days as a secondary 2 student, I met a girl whom I fell in love with. She was a non-Christian who was pessimistic and always had “dark” thoughts. She thought of her life as full of sorrow, that she would rather hate than love and die rather than live. She brought a lot of pain to the people around her and unsurprisingly, she did not have a lot of friends. However, I was amongst her closest friends. But even with all those unattractive characteristics, my feelings for her grew for I wanted to be the one to make her smile and never to cry. I wanted to sacrifice my all for her. I was patient for around three years until I confessed my feelings for her and we became attached. At that point I should be thanking God but I didn’t. I thought that we could have a chance to be happy together without Jesus in our lives.

Sadly, I could not be more wrong. We had unresolved conflicts and she often went out with other guys. We often had this “cold war” between us. Once again, my heart felt devoid of love. I asked myself if I had sacrificed so much for nothing. Why do I want to be with her so much? Then, the Holy Spirit spoke to me, “Go to your brother.” I approached Josh and I started sharing with him my problems. He made me realise that the very reason I had sacrificed so much was not for her or to see her smile but because I feared losing her. I also realized that the reason why I wanted to be with her so much was because I wanted her to be my meaning in this world. After a while, our relationship ended as guilt flooded my life for I swore previously that I would not make her cry but still I did. I hated myself and I felt more lost than ever. I felt that I was reverting to my past nature.

I went back home and picked up my Bible when for the second time, the Holy Spirit spoke to me and said, “Jesus’ love for you is everlasting for his relationship with you will never end. He died for u because He loves you. Fill your heart with His love and your heart will never be void again.” I was stunned and ashamed and I started crying and weeping. How could I have forgotten how much He loves us? Why should I be living for others when I should have lived for someone who has already died for me? Jesus loves me so much that He sacrificed His life. On that day, I confessed my sins to him and begged for his forgiveness. I prayed to him, asking him to make me a warrior like David, worthy of His name whom He would proudly proclaim to, “Sky, My son whom I am so proud of”.

From that day onwards, I have never looked back since. With this in mind, I would like to encourage my fellow brothers and sisters with these two verses from the Bible.

John 3:16
“For GOD so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.”

Hebrews 13:5-6
“Because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you”. So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”

Written by:
Sky Kwah
Joshua’s 12

Hidden Treasure, Searching Moments

This article should have been posted very much earlier. However I would still like to thank God and share my experience of doing this SOL 3 project. You may think: WHAT? There is a project for School of Leaders (SOL) 3? Bingo, you’ve guessed right the first time! However, I am not sure if this will continue for the subsequent cycles of SOL 3. It may seem intimidating which is exactly what I felt when I initially enrolled for it. However, I want to reassure you people out there that it can be very fun and challenging! I’ve really enjoyed myself.

Thank God I had Joy and Priscilla to accompany me to SOL3. However, we were too small a group to form a team but we had the privilege of having three more friends from Pastor Adrian’s and Pastor Lily’s tribe to join us. It was an amazing experience for me to be able to work with people from other tribes as I must admit that my social circle in church has always been confined to Livingstones. This actually helped me to feel that Youthnet is indeed a family. The whole experience was tiring and stressful at times but enriching and enjoyable. I shall spare you all the details of preparation for the event but here are some things that I’ve learnt from my experience:

1) Pray More, Plan Less (quite a similar experience with the FIG Camp) – sometimes we get too engrossed with the details that we forget to pray. Ultimately, the focus of the event is God. We actually decided to cut down on the planning and spend more time praying together - -and it helps!

2) Ask And It Shall Be Given – For our event, we managed to get free Newater (it is free by the way, just give a call). One of our members has past experiences in organising events such as this, therefore we tapped into our resources and found a sponsor willing to print the certificates of participation, even with good quality paper. Finally, there was a company which sponsored the chocolate rolls (which alas, came after the event).

3) God’s Plans Deserve Our Utmost Amazement – We planned for 120 participants and with such numbers, we initially wanted to book a place in the community centre. To our disappointment, the response was worse than expected. There were only 2 teams of visitors. So in total we were able to create 6 teams in all with the help of some of the game masters who became participants. Thus, we decided to settle in a pavilion among the HDB blocks. To our surprise, this drastic change led to salvation for two kids from the neighbourhood! It was really unexpected! So be prepared for the unexpected, for if we did not grab hold of that opportunity to share Christ with the two kids, they might never have heard the Gospel. God works wonders regardless of our circumstances!

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank Quan Wei, Jun Ming, Kenneth Tan, Jonathan Pang and not forgetting Christine Song for helping us as game masters (although some ultimately became participants).

Subsequently, special thanks to Pamelia, Li Juan, Samantha, Amanda and Zhenchang for participating and also for their patience despite the reshuffling that took place. Also, thanks to Jas (my new kid) who formed a team with her school friends. Your presence really made a difference!

I have found love in this family, thanks to my spiritual mum and dad and finally, a big thank you to all my G12 sisters and brothers for your prayers!

I just want to end off by encouraging you to be excited with what God has in store for you even while going through the Ladder of Success. Hidden treasure, searching moments. Have you found it yet?

Written by:
Vivien Po
Pastor Fei Fei’s 12

April 1st Livingstones 288 Meeting

1 Corinthians 13: 13 (New Living Translation)
“There are three things that will endure -- faith, hope and love -- and the greatest of these is love.”

Our network’s 288 meeting was held at the TOUCH Centre Chapel on 1st April. Besides being April Fools’ Day, it was a platform opportunity for the ladies in Livingstones to rise up! The band was an all-girls band, well, except for our drummer (“Miss” Arun?); and our speaker for the night was our very own Pastor Fei Fei who is also affectionately called our Livingstones’ spiritual “ma ma”.

That night, Pastor Fei Fei shared about love and unity; and her message was titled “Love: A Responsible Attitude”. We were taught that love is an attitude in which we will want what’s best for the person we are showing love to. In order to get this right attitude, we have to first understand how our Heavenly Father defines love.

Matthew 22:37-39
"Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind” This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important, ‘Love your neighbour as yourself."

John 15:12-13
"I command you to love each other in the same way that I love you. And here is how to measure it -- the greatest love is shown when people lay down their lives for their friends."

Pastor Fei Fei brought up the term ‘agape love', something that I’ve heard several times since the days of Sunday school and continuously learning to put it into practice. To me, it means that we have to do something for someone and even if I don’t like this person I will still do it willingly. Please do not forget God’s commandments for us, especially the one which tells us that if we love our Father, we will love His people.

When we’ve achieved the right knowledge which will lead to the right attitude being instilled in us, we will naturally be aware of the right actions that will lead us to do the best thing (that we know is good) for the people whom we love and even feeling uplifted about it!

To end off, I would like to give to each one of us a reminder from 1 John 3:18 “Dear children, let us stop just saying we love each other; let us really show it by our actions.”

Will you do something for a friend today and show some love?

Written by:
Pamelia Soh
Pastor Fei Fei’s 12

Trusting The Lord In My Life

I hope that anyone who reads this will not be discouraged by my circumstances but continue to trust in the Lord for I believe that many of us went through similar experiences. To begin with, my parents are devoted Buddhists and it took me several months before I finally decided to tell them the truth. It has been a long period of time but no matter what, God has been with me all this while. Let me begin my story.

As I said earlier, my parents are strict Buddhists and they even forbade me from going to church so I had to lie to them all this while. Until now, I do not even know whether they have finally accepted my faith.

A few months ago, I was invited by my spiritual sister, Genevie (a good sister who is dearest to me) to a New Year party. I could say that I was a skeptical Christian at that time and not a true believer. But after joining FCBC, I learnt a lot and I was drawn even closer to Him during the sanctification week. On my first day in FCBC, I realised how much He sacrificed for us. The pain was so unbearable that I even hoped to share the pain with Him.

But He told me," No, Son, I cannot let you share the pain with Me. You cannot take it. As long as you do fruitful deeds, I will be satisfied and happy.”

With this, I told him how hurt I was and so I prayed silently in my heart. I felt the presence of Him and it was indeed powerful. After that day, I became a true believer. But this peace did not last long. Soon, Satan started tempting me and told me to bring away my light from Jesus. I told him that I will always serve Jesus Christ and will always be with Him.

However, my problems are not over yet. I still need to settle my family problems. I believe that this is a test that God has set for me. Since this is a difficult test, I was bewildered at first and began to wonder why God gave me this test. Why did He have to do this to me? I shared this with one of the leaders, Joshua and he even prayed for me. I was so touched by his concern that I told God that I would accept this test and prove Satan wrong.

After struggling for a while, I decided to serve at the Young Arrows Children’s Club. The kids there brought me great distress but I do know that I have several older sisters and brothers who are concerned for me. Through them, I gradually understood the meaning of love. Until today, they have never ceased to encourage me.

After a few weeks later, I told my sister, Isabel, that I still lacked the courage to tell my parents of my newfound Christian faith. She immediately rebuked me, "How could you say THAT? He is your MASTER and you are His MASTERPIECE!" These words shook some sense into me. And to think I even contemplated moving out of my home. I shared my thoughts with Josh and he told me that I was running away from the test and advised me to wake up. I sensed an uplifting in my spirit and I decided to face my parents with faith.

During service on one Sunday, Pastor Khong told us that, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." (Matthew 17:20) With this revelation, I know that as long as I have faith, God will always be on my side.

When I told my parents the truth a few days later, they became very angry. Despite their anger, I was glad that I told them the truth and nothing but the truth. For the first time in a long while, I was relieved of this guilt and felt liberated. On the night of the Livingstones 288 gathering, I was extremely touched by my brothers as they prayed for me while I cried and told God that I am so lucky to have them.

What is the moral of the story? Always have faith in God! Nothing can stand in His way! When the going gets tough, the tough gets going. In Isaiah 3:13, “The Lord takes His place in court; He rises to judge the people”. I am now serving with the Young Arrows Children’s Club and will soon be going for my first encounter camp. After that, who knows? I have plans to join TOUCHKidz and become one of the leaders there. All that I have today, I give thanks to God!

As you have read my story, let me say a little prayer for you:

“Father in Heaven, please bless these people who have read my story and wash away their sins. I believe that like the people who have spread Your name through many countries, I will also be used as a medium to spread Your name. In Jesus’s name, I pray that You will bless all of my brothers and sisters. They have given me lots of encouragement and love. Amen.”

Written by:
Flavian Kow
Julian’s 12