My journey to baptism

I was born in Malaysia and grew up in my babysitter’s family. Under the influence of my babysitter and my mum, I became a pious Buddhist and grew up to be very superstitious. When I came to Singapore, I would contact my babysitter before any major examinations to obtain amulets for me from the temple to burn and drink.

I was a very bitter child when I first came to Singapore. My relationship with my mum was distant and sour. There wasn’t any mother-daughter connection between us as we had not been staying together for the past nine years. I felt life was unfair and would usually blame the circumstances that I was placed in. Why did I have to come to Singapore and suffer? Why did I always get blamed for what my younger siblings did? Unhappiness swirled within me. I was not able to experience what a happy family would. Feeling neglected and unloved, life to me was such a chore, with nothing to look forward to except heaps of sufferings.

I came to know more about God in secondary 3 through Pastor Lawrence Tan at TKSS. At that time, I refused to acknowledge Christ because of the fear of parental objections. Furthermore, I was deluded and I clung on tightly to my Buddhist belief. However, I did not realize that all this while, the Lord has actually been working in my life. I always requested for Pastor Lawrence and my close girlfriend, Felicia, to pray for me on many occasions. Out of the many prayer requests, the Lord answered one of my very significant prayer requests – On the day I sat for my basic theory test, I fell very sick and Felicia prayed for me before I left my house. Amazingly, I felt well enough to do the test without any discomfort.

In 2004, I broke up with my former boyfriend. The break-up affected me adversely and it was only then did I realise I had no God to turn to, no God to seek solace with. I began to see that there is no help from my so-called god regarding matters of the heart. I met up with Pastor Lawrence and he encouraged me to trust God. He convinced me that there are no strings attached in believing in Jesus and that if I am unable to find peace in Him, I can give up. On 5th June 2004, I surrendered my life to Jesus and since then, I have never regretted making this wonderful decision.

Although things did not change positively immediately after I accepted Christ, my life definitely improved by leaps and bounds as I grew closer to God. At home, my relationship with my family has improved tremendously and I know that there is love in the family although it was expressed differently. Personally, I know that I have changed for the better. Negative thoughts no longer plagued me and I am less self-centered.

After my conversion to Christianity, I started to join a cell group. At first, I could not understand why I was placed in a cell group where the girls are at least three years younger than me. Although most of them were from my secondary school, I felt out of place because of the age gap. Through my walk with God, I gradually learnt that every single detail in my life has been cleverly crafted by God. Thus, I prayed fervently and asked God to reveal His special plan for me in this cell group. I told God that I wanted to get to know each of the cell sisters better. God is faithful! He always creates opportunities for me to grow closer to each sister. I am very thankful for Meijin and the girls in the cell for encouraging me in my walk with God. Praise God!

Two months ago, I decided to surrender myself fully to God, letting Him be in control in all aspects of my life. Since then, I have this supernatural peace and joy in my heart. I know that wherever I am and whatever I do, God is with me and His plans for me will always be the best.

Written by:
Goh WanSze Jennifer
Meijin’s 12