Hear Me Roar!

Each year the G12 Conference brings something new: A new spirit, a new anointing and a new measure of faith. I remember the first conference I went to, I learnt to applaud FCBC’s spiritual father, Apostle Khong. From the foreign delegates, I saw what it meant to praise and worship God with your all, which includes your whole physical being; dancing and lifting up joyous cries before Him. Each of these outward expressions represented also a decision made; choosing to give thanks and affirm my leader, choosing to worship with my all. And in making the decision, we choose to be single-minded; turning away from doubts and unbelief. Therefore, each of the new actions I learn to do at each year’s G12 have also come to represent for me, a new blessing and anointing from the Lord.

This year, I learnt to cry out before the Lord, to let out a shout of victory and conquest. I never really felt comfortable shouting before the Lord before and I think I’m not the only one. Maybe it’s a Singaporean thing. I see that many of us in church would much rather give a sound of praise by clapping before the Lord. And perhaps for some of us ladies, it would seem most undignified to be letting out a whooping shout of war-cry. But in this conference, I just let myself go. And the experience was liberating! It was like, God, if crying out like this is a proclamation of Your victory and a declaration of war on all that oppresses and binds me, then boy, oh boy am I gonna roar! And as I lifted my voice, I had to choose to put aside my fear, my unbelief and all those negative thoughts just as by faith the shouts were dispelling the oppression. I had to say, Lord, I believe. I put my faith in You.

But before I could arise to conquer, God had to remove the sense of emptiness and deadness that was in my heart. Just as what Pastor Art had shared on that Sunday, before we can wake somebody up, we ourselves must first be awakened (Isaiah 52: 1-3). God knew the cry of my heart. I needed hope, I needed strength, I needed joy and I needed to fall in love with God again. There was a sense of deadness in my heart that I could not even long for God. I knew I could not go on without a fresh touch from Him. I responded to Pastor Khong’s ministry call after Pastor Art’s sermon and went forward. And as I knelt and just poured out what was within my heart to God, I began to long for God and desire His presence once again. The thought of not having His presence with me was unbearable. (Ps 28:1) God had revived my heart.

God revived my heart and renewed my mind in the conference. He also released a new level of faith in my spirit. We have a rich heritage of faith in Pastor Cesar and Pastor Claudia Castellanos. There was such power in their words that I sense a resonance in my spirit when they spoke. Pastor Claudia spoke of redeeming arenas outside the church for the purpose of making an impact and influencing the society. We need to fill that gap in areas such as the media, the arts, politics and etc. We have to move out of our comfort zone. The order for battle has been issued. If we do not move forth to conquer, the war will still come to us. She encouraged us to ask the Holy Spirit to ignite a new project in our life.

I have been asking God to give me a dream and to show me His direction in work. I don’t want to be mediocre. I don’t want to go through life lost and purposeless. Lord, what do you want me to do? I believe God has begun placing pieces of a jigsaw puzzle into my hands even during the G12 conference. Though I do not know yet the picture that will be formed when the puzzle is pieced together, there is enough light to see the next step He wants me to take to begin a journey of adventure with Him. I asked God how can I respond; what are the practical steps He wants me to do?

For starters, I am giving God 3 “yes”. The first challenge being that I want to win 12 in 3 months, which is no mean feat for me. The second being agreeing to give money to a Chinese national for dinner although I doubt the story she told me is true. But as my Daddy said, if they are desperate enough to ask a stranger, there must be a need. The third one is yet to be known. I also want to write more. This is really an exploration of feeling in my next step in the area of career. I do not know where it will lead to but I am seeking God and depending on Him to reveal more along the way. Already, my boss is asking me if I want to do research writing at work. I pray that God will continue to guide and speak to me.
It is an exhilarating ride ahead, which can be a pretty hair-raising experience for someone like me who is not inclined towards the thrills of rides such as that of a roller coaster. But I sayed yes to God who has called on us to be strong and courageous (Joshua 1: 6) for He has not given us a spirit of timidity but a Spirit of son ship. And the Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God (Romans 8: 15, 16). If my Father is going to be holding my hand throughout the ride, I think I will have no problems developing a healthy appetite for excitement.

Written by :
Amanda Quek Wei Ling
Pastor Fei Fei's 12